Monday, October 3, 2011
Fear of Failure
I'm not sure if I should call it "Fear of Failure" or "Fear of Success." Either way, I tend to experience overwhelming fear and anxiety when I branch out from my norm. I want a safety net below me and a full set of safety pads on.
Lately, I have been very frustrated with the direction (or lack thereof) my life is going in. I'm too old to wait around anymore. If I'm going to live the life I want, I have to make some changes. The changes that revolve around Steve are not going to cut it. I have to change the way I look at my life.
I realized that, especially in my career, fear is ruling me. I make bad choices because I don't have confidence in myself. I tend to wait for someone to tell me what to do. Even though I am well aware, that when you are your own boss, the only person telling you what to do is you.
The past week really drove that point home. I had a client that was a huge drain on my resources and was actually costing me money. But, because I somehow (in my own head) made it my fault that the relationship was doomed from the start, I continued to do the work and lose money. I just simply didn't want to fail.
The whole mess kept me from enjoying my family, working with my other clients and was taking a toll on my health. When I finally ended the relationship, the relief was incredible. The fact of the matter is, there was nothing wrong with me or the client. We were simply not a good fit. I know that happens, and it is ok.
It is perfectly ok to walk away from situations that cause you stress whether it is a business relationship or personal relationship. It is not a failure, it is a way to grow. Hanging on to a bad situation takes time away from the good relationships and opportunities.
My fear of failing was truly holding me back. In my head, ending a business relationship was somehow failing. It was only after I reminded myself that every time I started a new job, I had to end the old one, and that the reason people leave jobs is often because the fit is just wrong, that I could do what needed to be done.
Another, problem I have is accepting my true worth. That would be the "fear of success" factor which I will discuss tomorrow.
Do you have a fear of failure? How do you overcome it?