I've mentioned that Steve and I had a major change in roles before. This change is one of the hardest things for me to accept. For five years, I have had a method of keeping up with the housework that worked reasonably well. When I got up in the morning, I would neatly stack the dishes that were left on the counter over night (before we had a dishwasher) or put them in the dishwasher. If it was laundry day, I would dump a load of laundry in the washer. This was all done while my coffee was brewing.
I absolutely hate a messy kitchen. Actually, I hate any mess at all, but I've gotten over that as our family has grown. (Three boys are quite messy.) But, the kitchen is the worst. It's the first thing people see as they walk through our door. To me, it sets the tone of the house.
Since we've changed things around, Steve has complained each and every time I cleaned up the kitchen in the morning. This is now his job and he feels that by cleaning up, I am minimizing his worth in the house. I've never thought of it that way, I just wanted a clean kitchen.
This morning, our kitchen is particularly messy. I would take a picture, but I'm way too embarrassed. We spent much of yesterday lounging about and it shows. My first reaction was to start cleaning as soon as the boys were safely off to school. I had to force myself to walk away and accept that it would be done.
No one is coming to our house today. It is just Steve and I all day until we pick up the boys from daycare. If he wants to rest before cleaning up, I have to let him do so. Instead of cleaning, I came into my office/bedroom and shut the door. It is the complete reverse of shutting the door to our oldest boys bedroom because I don't want to see his mess! I'm shutting out the rest of the house.
I have to trust that it will get done when Steve feels up to it. And, I have to remember that my way is not always the only way. I'm considering creating a sign that says just that and placing it on the wall above my computer screen. Maybe that will help make it easier.